This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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