His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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