do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Randomize
