It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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