you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
