I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
That's intense
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
