she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
So much Jack, so little girl.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
