Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
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