I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
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