I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Randomize
