I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Randomize
