Non-Jews are for practice
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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