I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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