Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
40s are totally the cure
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Randomize
