Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
