the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Pants 0. Shit 1.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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