she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
