I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
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