Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize