ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Randomize
