You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
