Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
