Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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