boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
