SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
