Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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