Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Randomize
