so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Randomize
