the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Randomize