No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
