Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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