im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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