Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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