even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
