Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
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