It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
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