I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
