these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
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