at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
