she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
