I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
I wish i was in the wii world.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
