Don't make out with my wife yet
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
