I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
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