Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Randomize