He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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