we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
