I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
porn star boner night. come get it.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
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