Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
What drink are we having for lunch?
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
Randomize
