My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
