My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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