idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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