Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
