I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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