from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
either way he was missing a nipple.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
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Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
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