your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize
