Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
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