Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
It's never too late to be topless.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
