The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Randomize
