I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
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Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
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Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
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