I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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